A Child’s Life
What should a child’s life look like? Playing, friends, trips to the beach, picnics. Carefree days with your toes in the sand or up in a tree imagining the adventure that awaits because you know that back at home you have parents who love you and will protect you. Superman and Wonder Woman come home and you know you have the best Dad and Mom ever. You have a home that offers safety, security, food and shelter for both body and soul.
The Dark Side
Not all children have that life, however. Imagine another life. One where home offers only fear, insecurity and violation. A place where there are no loving touches, no ruffling of the hair in affection. Your home is a place where you are an object to serve the two adults who call themselves your parents, but who actually use and abuse you. There is no safety, no security, and it threatens to suck the life out of you both body and soul.
Now imagine that these people who are supposed to offer you safety are allowing others to assault you as well. Friends, neighbors, there no adult that came into your house could be trusted.
The School Years
Move forward a few years and you are in school and the Boy Scouts. Even there you are not safe. Teachers and Boy Scout leaders see you as property. You are something they can borrow to use and abuse. Even going away to college does not keep you safe. A professor takes advantage of you by getting you drunk and then raping you multiple times.
This was Dr. John King’s life from age 4 – 24.
The Rehabilitation
Dr. King began writing poetry at the age of 43 to help him in his recovery process. You can buy his book of poetry here http://www.drjohnaking.com/shop/
One selection gives you a little idea of how he was feeling.
Trapped
Condemned by things I did not do
Judged by actions I did not take
Caged by feelings I do not want
Held by words I did not say
Reaping what was not sown
Trapped
When asked what gave him hope to endure he replied: “That after every night, there is a dawn”. He wants to share this message with everyone who is suffering abuse. There is a way out. There is a brighter future.
Mel Ryan interviews Dr. King in November. That interview can be found at http://noworkingtitle.org/category/the-art/. In it she quotes Dr. King
“ I think the key lies not in having our brokenness define us but refine us, I am not my brokenness, I am becoming who I am called to be because of it.
If we reject our brokenness we reject ourselves, if we embrace it then it produces character and steadfastness and these two things are the elements upon which our future is built.”
The Recovery
One of the big questions I had but was afraid to ask Dr. King was how he managed to find a healthy relationship and marriage. Being able to trust someone is crucial to a good relationship, but how, I wondered, could he trust anyone after what he had been through. Without knowing I had that burning question, Dr. King answered this one and answered the other at the same time.
If there was a time you thought about committing suicide, what gave you the strength to resist?
“The simple love and encouragement of one good woman and a belief that He could if He so chose, would turn all things for good.”
Dr. King’s love and the strength of their relationship is evident in a poem he just published online.
She Makes My Day
sun through broken
clouds
breeze through
summer trees
a glimpse of you
refreshes my soul
The Calling
One would wonder how someone could survive such abuse and come through it with an unwavering focus for aiding others in escaping a similar fate. How could that survivor put himself in a position to endure scanning the internet daily to find the perpetrators of sexual violence and human trafficking? Dr. King does just that. How does he manage? His therapist used a word for him that explains everything, resilient.
Dr. King has dedicated his life to giving a voice to everyone silenced by sexual violence and slavery. His resilient spirit has allowed him to be the public face that flips the rocks over to reveal the creepy crawlers who hide under them. He pursues his calling side by side with his wife who holds him up and keeps his eyes focus on what is good so he is not overwhelmed with the evil he hunts down with such fervor.
How You can Partner with Dr. King
There are several ways you can partner with Dr. King. The first is to give. Your money goes toward the rescue and rehabilitation of all those who fall prey to sexual abuse and human trafficking. Many of these are children. Second, buy his books. All the proceeds go to Give Them A Voice and Dr. King’s other foundation for survivors of PTSD. Third, Get involved. Help be a voice in your community. Talk about those things no one wants to talk about. Awareness is what will expose the evil that robs both adults and children of their freedom, security, and potentially their future.
Tell Your Story
If you are a survivor of sexual abuse, assault or human trafficking let me tell your story. I want others to know the strength you have found and to paint it as a reminder for you of how strong you are. I want to paint the picture of the joy and healing you have found in your recovery and allow that story to give other survivor’s hope for their future too. Contact me at studio@kateshafferfineart.com for the questionnaire that will help me get to know you and be able to tell your story.